The Diaries of Nicholson Cage

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Friday, September 24th –
Only thing worth mentioning: spent longer than needed chopping vegetables

Saturday, September 25th –
Spent a good portion of the day replacing light bulbs

Tuesday, September 28th –
Can’t stand that lady at the drug store. Why is that lady always in there? Also, not going to forget to do this, no matter what they say.

Thursday, September 30th –
When the light wouldn’t turn off after flicking the switch, became convinced that it was all a dream. But it wasn’t.

Monday, October 11th –
Spent the entire weekend trying to learn how to make Tofu taste good

Tuesday, October 12th –
Remembered uncle in Thailand is still in a coma. Sent him a postcard.

Thursday, October 14th –
I have decided to start using more pronouns. Clarity is important. And consistency.

Sunday, October 17th –
My landlord burst in today with some mishegas about the property rental people and how they needed keys to unlock the door for a showing or some damn thing and how he had to be at service. I helped him out by offering to do his own job for him, but since I had the keys to someone else’s apartment I stole some incidentals like a spatula, a tape measure and a deck of cards.

Wednesday, October 20th –
Ads on TV for helping African Orphans inspired me to start my own charity

Thursday, October 28th –
Charity thing taking up more time than expected. Can’t go to the farmer’s market this weekend like usual.

Tuesday, November 23rd
Keep forgetting about this old thing. Got to figure out whether to put ads on TV, which might be a dead technology, or on the internet. Don’t know much about AdWords.

Monday, November 29th
Met a woman over the weekend that may fall in love. Surprise: it wasn’t at a bar!

Sunday April 4th:
Found out that the IRS is investigating me for my charitable activities. Or investigating my charity, not sure what the difference is. Oh, and it’s Easter.

Sunday, May 22nd:
Uncle woke from his coma and is coming home to see me. On the phone, he said he dreamed about me when he was under.

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 26, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    I enjoyed this Rappy. That picture fits well with the narrative.

    ReplyDelete

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